Help me to help me.

Sorry.

I pity those who living around people with depression and mental illness. It's so destructive and affects anybody within reach.

For around a month now, I have struggled with my mental state. The point has been lost. I don't know how or why. Aims and dreams are just sources of pain and disgust at how I've become this thing, this waste of organs. Why am I injecting? What is it all for? Is the point that it is pointless?

There has been a sense of having fewer options and those options that exist are extreme. I can't keep self-medicating for too long. I'd run out of tablets. The interests I had mock me now and signify nothing.

Life at all costs.

I'm distant from what is what. I feel ill most of the time and yet I feel like a cheater or a liar. Living is hard for anybody but for me it's such an ordeal. The mood changes are sudden. I've had a knife at my wrist on more than one occasion this last week. Instead, I make pathetic cuts to the back of my hand, subtle ones that can't be seen.

I'm tired. I'm going now.