Since my laarrrst blog, a few things have happened that signal some sort of change of luck for me and myself in particularation.
Primarily, love has become the kingping (everybody go "ping"!) of my future life. My sweet lady from Brisbane has decided to upsticks and hop over here to sample the hitherto unappreciated charms of Retford. This lady has a remarkable effect on my state of mind when we are together. Almost instantly, one is transported from a drudging, sleep infested existence to something that approaches normal. That she loves me is one compliment, but that she wishes to leave her own country and friends is one compliment that I'll probably spend the rest of my days trying to absorb and appreciate. For once, luck has been remarkably kind to me and I have my soulmate and love(r) to be with and to care for. All of this without mind games, too.
In April, I will be making a voyage, or flight, to Australia myself. Previously, my last foray to foreign lands was last December on a ferry trip to Bruges, with my love. Prior to that, we're having to go back afarrrrr to 1986. It's quite a leap but one that I'm very excited about. I intend to upkeep the blog bogey more regulegularly whilst abroad. To say the very least, it will be an experience, and one to savour. Hopefully all will go well with the flights health-wise and if so, I can then accompany my love on trips into Europe, etc or wherever.
Another change that I have forced upon myself is that I'm no longer intending to use mental health or depression as a crutch to hook myself onto. I think it is possibly a replacement for RH, which was some sort of sick parent that I relied upon for keeping me going. Being ill-health retired took that away and I replaced it with the services in Mental Health and it was a support for me in that I didn't feel totally bereft. What I should have done was realise that I had very good friends who were there to be a real support all the time. Nowadays, the issues that were causing much distress and shenanigans in my head have faded into the dim and dimmer past, almost naturally. I'll always be a depressive and suffer from depression, but I'm no longer wearing the badge or the t-sherpa.
The lost of my dad, which everybody or nearly everybody goes through, was horrible but the grieving process has almost come full circle and I smile when I think of him and I know he is in my heart.
I'm now "used" to being retired, though the days are long when I'm alone. It means that I'm no longer defining myself by what I did for a living.
My eyesight has stabilised or stopped getting worse, for the time being. Thankfully, this has given me space to become accustomed to being partially sighted. I don't think anybody would jump at the chance to have my eyes, but I also don't believe that my live is wretched or pointless. There is a quality of life. Using the stick and glasses combo in public has taken a long time to get used to but I wouldn't be without it.
Soooooooo...oh...oh...oh... I think that I'm at a stage in my life where I'm more content than ever and, dare I mouth the word, HAPPY. I have a wonderful lady in my life, good friends and that, in my book, means that I'm a lucky man.....
Ta ta for now.
